乱七八糟

今天跟平时的放假没两样但是到了晚上就怪怪的
我们吃完火锅后就打电话给妈妈聊些机票房子的事
我洗澡过后就会房间休息上网查些毕业的东西
然后小卢就进来了问我发生什么是说我怪怪的
说我什么都不告诉她，其实我什么事情都没有
就是想要一个人静静的享受私人空间但她却不信
没事的我就变得无奈了，然后他们全部就去了客厅看球赛

有时候的我真的觉得跟他们好像聊不太来
我绝对相信这是我个人的问题可能我比较内向自闭
这也不能完全怪我，每个人的个性是受从小成长的环境影响的
我真的一直尝试去自我改变但是最终还是改变不了
我知道我真的缺乏信心，也可能是一直被人看不起嫌弃的关系
我真的对不起我爸爸妈妈因为我觉得我真的很狗
被侮辱和人生攻击都逆来顺受，但却只摆在心底里
主人开心的时候就过来摸摸我的头，不高兴就骂到跟狗一样
我做什么都被否认，天天要提心吊胆怕做了什么事情让她不高兴
又要东藏西躲，害怕被发现，防这个防那个
连行动态度也要做到她满意的，还要装作没事发生
最离谱的是自己什么都没做却也惹了她生气
抓破头也想不到自己错在那里，折磨

FORGIVENESS & FOOTPRINTS

[-FORGIVENESS-]
LORD, IF I HAVE BLAMED YOU FOR THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LIFE,
SHOW ME SO I CAN CONFESS IT BEFORE YOU.
ENABLE ME TO LOVE MY ENEMIES AS YOU HAVE COMMANDED IN YOUR WORD.
TEACH ME TO BLESS THOSE WHO CURSE ME AND PERSECUTE ME
(MATTHEW 5:44-45). REMIND ME TO PRAY FOR THOSE WHO HURT OR OFFEND ME
SO HAT MY HEARTWILL BE SOFT TOWARD THEM. I DON'T WANT TO BECOME
HARD AND BITTER BECAUSE OF UNFORGIVENESS. MAKE ME A PERSON WHO IS QUICK
TO FORGIVE.
WHERE THERE IS DISTANCE BETWEEN ME AND ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBER BECAUSE
OF UNFORGIVENESS, I PRAY YOU WOULD BREAK DOWN THAT WALL.
HELP ME TO FORGIVE EVERY TIME I NEED TO DO SO.



[-FOOTPRINTS-]

One night a man had a dream...

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord .Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene ,

he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand ; one belonged to him and the other to the Lord .

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that is happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

“ Lord , you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way .

But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints .

I don’t understand why, when I needed you most you would leave me “.

The Lord replied :

" My precious , precious child , I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times

of trial and suffering ,when you saw only one set of footprints,

it was then I carried you"

姑丈R.I.P

今天考了最后一科我终于自由了
原本应该很开心的但是我不能
刚刚收到家里传来的消息
我的姑丈去世了 真的很意外
先前是姑姑走了 现在姑丈也不例外
从小就在姑姑家里长大
因爸妈要工作的关系 没办法照顾我们
永远没办法忘记在他们家的日子
虽然很普通很平凡却很温馨
姑丈 好几年来都有糖尿病
也许这样一来也是让他解脱了
希望他在另一个世界能好好的过
安息吧...我祝福你

人越长大 越不能忽列这生离死别的东西
必须要面对 在我现在的阶段
已经经历了不少这样的事情
许多亲戚的相继的离开 也包括我爸
可能不久的将来就回轮到我
但我觉得人生不在乎那长短
只在乎过的有没有意思 和成功
我爸就是最好的例子了...